Double Oh Seven
by efftless
Summary: When two people fall in love, one of them is forced to choose the side of good or bad. And they can't pick both. Au. Maybe out of character sometimes. Yaoi. Smex. Drugs. Language. Blah.
1. Sounds French

There was a time after the war, the city plunged into chaos. As the thugs and low lifes rised up and took over the city. And even the police force wasn't able to control such madness. They believed all crimes were actually under control by one man, decided by a person's will. Or should i say, this guy was Kingpin. And if the Kingpin was stopped, then mostly all crimes should stop. 

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"Ugh... -pant pant- What the... hell... is this guy... some kind of monkey?! So troublesome..." Shikamaru spoke out of breathe into his walky talky. He struggled on to the floor, as 2 people sped ahead of him chasin' after a guy.

"You unfit bastard, we have to do everything around here don't we?! Damn! What the hell is with this guy?!" Naruto practically yelled, this runner was pretty good... he was practically jumping all over fences and shiz!

"Nuttin I can't handle!" Kiba announced, imitating the same movements the criminal they were chasing down.

The Uzumaki squad was chasing a man trying to escape down a very annoyingly long alley, after the failed attempt of assasinating the Hokage.

"We need to make him stop or something! It looks like he can keep going on forever!" Naruto yelled into his w/t (walky talky 8D)

"At the end of this alley leads to the main street, we have to trap him, and I have an idea." The Nara stated.

"Alright, Shika, you do uhhh.. whatever you're doing, and Naruto, we need to slow him down to give Shika enough time." Kiba barked.

"We can't really do anything! Errr wait! I KNOW!!" Naruto said. "HEY YOU! STOP RUNNING AND ... WE WON'T uhhh... WE WON'T!!! UMMMMM!!! DO SOMETHING BAD TO YOU!!"

"What the hell that's not gonna do anything!" Kiba barked, The man running turned around, and the only thing you could see was his black hair covering his face, and that smirk. He taunted the 2 officers with that annoying 'come here' finger gesture.

"Ugh, Hurry up Shika, khuz i really wanna kick this guy's ass!" The blonde yelling in his mic.

"Yeah yeah. I've been thinking of this plan way in the beginning." Shikamaru said.

They could see the sunset light at the end of the ally. This guy was gonna get away! Then, Shikamaru appeared at the end of the alley with his hands out preparing to grab the runner.

"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?!?! HE COULD JUMP OVER YOU OR SOMETHING?!?" The two screamed, "I DON'T KNOW! GIVE ME A BREAK!" The Nara said in a nervous tone. It was sort of funny, khuz the mysterious criminal could hear EVERY WORD the blonde and his squad was saying since... well.. they were practically YELLING IT AT HIS FACE.

And at that, this mysterious guy stopped at the sight of Shikamaru and jumped on a dumpster, doing a series of ridiculous back flips, front flips, and wall flips to the rooftops of the buildings.

"Shit. He got away!" Naruto pouted. "No shit!" Kiba barked.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------couple moments laterr------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"You guys are really embarrasing to the embassy." Iruka commeneted. "You know, you guys have guns..." Iruka could only roll his eyes and look away, too ashamed to look at the 3.

"Yeah yeah, guns aren't my thing, i just kick asses and go home."

"Same here!"

"Eh... I... calculate the plans and... they do the work for me."

"-sigh- Well, we have a new recruit. And he's been more 'ass kicking' on the training grounds than you 3 combined. And! The force decided we should add him to your squad."

"ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! WE'RE THE **UZUMAKI SQUAD**!" Naruto yelled, and the 2 other boys came up behind him and they did a lil' dance. **"U-ZU-MA-KI!!!"** The team chanted, as the office people looked, pointed, and laughed.

"Your.. point?"

"We're a squad of 3 yo."

"And more than 3 will slow us down!!!"

"YEAH WHAT HE SAID!"

"Well, he's either in, or one of you guys are out." Iruka exclaimed

"Uhhhhhhh... Eheheheh... 4 is good i guess... it's an even numbeR! YEAH!" Naruto joked unpleasantly

"Yeah... we can... do... more stuff..?" Kiba coughed.

"More for me to order around I'm sure." Shikamaru stated.

"Glad you guys are happy." Iruka smiled in victory.

"Well, he's in his office over there." Iruka pointed out.

"What the hell... he has his own office?!" Naruto whispered to Shikamaru.

"Yeah.. I'm more valuable than some nub on this force." Shikamaru sighed

"Who knows, maybe he's a very old man!" Kiba joked

The trio walked to the office and examined the door.

"Uchiha Sasuke?" Kiba questioned as he read the description.

"Sounds french." Naruto commented.

"It's nuttin french related loser.." The trio surprised, looked behind them and a tall kid was standing there. He had a familiar hair cut, with a very sexy body. THAT! The trio would never admit. But sheesh, lets bake some cookies on this kid.

_WOW he's smokin! Errr... -looks around- I didn't say that out loud did I?_

_So this hawt teme is Sasuke?!? WAIT!! I!!! I DIDN'T JUST SAY THAT!_

_Another hawtie? How troublesome._

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Lol, I got this idea off of one episode of... well... it's a secret -smirks- But it's not anime, NOT ANIME RELATED AT ALL! **Reviews pweez!**


	2. Those Lips

"-Sigh- Well where ever that guy went, no one has seen anyone that looked like this guy." Kiba said exhaustedly 

"It is a big city after all.." Shikamaru said suspiciously.

_I know... that it's you.._

"That chicken is just... well.. chicken! He can't handle the boys!" Naruto yelled in confidence.

"Sit down dobe, you're drawing eyes on you." Sasuke stated.

"Shuddup teme!" Naruto pouted sitting down in his seat.

"Those two have been uhh... bonding since we've all met." Kiba whispered in a smile to Shikamaru

"Yeah yeah, whatever." Nara replied back.

The smile turned to a wide grin. "How long has it been.. since we first saw him... like.. 2 months? You've been staying away from him for a reason right? It looks like someone has a crush!" The kid barked.

"SHUDDUP!"

"Heheheheheheheheheheheheheeeeeee...!"

"Finally! We get some ramen!!!" Naruto giggled in excitement.

"Yeah Uchiha, thanks for payin'!" Kiba added

"..." Shikamaru didn't say a word.

"No problem."

The foursome were rewarded a small break. It's been a week since they've been on duty. They've had more time to hang out since the city's criminal activity has been down after that day the suspect escaped. That assassination attempt was the most highly aknowledged story of the city.

Sasuke parted from the group after finishing his last slurp of ramen, saying he had plans. And the trio left for home in the midnight's light.

"You open the door Kiba!"

"Again? What's wrong with you? You chase down bad guys with guns everyday. But you're scared to go in the house?"

"Cute."

"It's cause! It's really dark in there! I don't know if there's someone or something in there!!" the blonde shrieked like a little girl

"Ugh. Watever." As they walked in, the phone rang. Naruto now conquering his fear knowing his buddies are in the house, he dashed for the phone.

"Yo, It's Uzumaki." He answered

"Naruto, we need you and your squad down here at the station."

"Is it an emergency?"

"It's not that major, but we need you here quick."

"Sure." He hung up the phone, and looked at his buddies at the corner of his eye.

"If it's not serious, then.. they don't need the other guys right?" He whispered to himself as he looked at the other two.

"Gah! Kiba! Don't touch me there!"

"Hehehehehe, you know you like it!"

The blonde can only giggle. The force truly respected Naruto, and didn't dare make him angry, khuz he was truly a bad ass fighter. They apprectiated his kindness and sort of _stupidity/innocent_ act. And everyone loved him. And his 2 best buddies were also highly respected from their skills in experience and knowledge. The 3 were unseperatable, as if brothers. It was heart warming.

"Hey guys I'm gonna be outs kay'?" The blonde said with a smile

The two boys looked up at Naruto from the floor, stopping their little game. "Alrighty! Be safe!" The two said in perfect sequence.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------moments later------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Alright I'm here, watsup Iruka?"

"Uhh, where's your squad?"

"They had something to do, so you've got me."

"I see..., well we've got a tip of where the assassin might have been hiding from the day of the attack. We highly doubt he'll still be there, but maybe you'll find some clues. So it's good you're here by yourself, it'll give you an advantage."

"Alright."

Iruka gave him a slip and Naruto headed to the location. It was at the dark part of the city, where ironically the lights are dimmed or there's no light at all. Causing a very spooky scene. So even if he used his flashlight bad guys might get him. So Naruto's fear of the dark might kill him if he screams alot.

"Shit..Why meeeee... te bayouuu." He stopped his car a couple blocks away from his destination, so it wouldn't look suspicious. He made his way to the building, his hands in his pockets, shivering in the cold atmosphere and the sharp silence hurting his ears. Then he swore he heard a soft scrape of a foot step behind him.

"FREEZE!" The blonde yelled as he quickly revealed his gun and his flashlight to the target, but it was too late. the figure that was behind him managed to shove the blonde to the floor, grabbing both wrists above his head, forcing Naruto to let go of the gun and his flashlight.

"Oh, it's you again." The figure whispered. Naruto was scared for his life, as for,

1. He couldn't see a thing!  
2. If he screamed it could attract more dangerous raping evil people forcing the blonde into having a... orgasmic rape of 20!  
3. He couldn't move any damn part of his body since this figure was on top of him holding everything to place.

"Don't be scared. I'm definitely not going to do anything to you, except.. " The familiar voice stopped and leaned in to meet the blonde's lips. Naruto was about to pee for being so scared. But he had to admit those lips.. were so soft and smooth, and fitted perfectly around his.

"You're gonna have to stop looking for me, I don't wanna do anything you and I would regret later." He whispered. And his lips met the blonde's neck, and began sucking

"Ahh--" The blonde moaned, he was nervous khuz he had no idea who was doing this to him. He began to form a buldge where the assaulter was sitting on.

"Heh." The figure smirked (Naruto can't see it though) "Remember me by this." He stated, as he stopped sucking on Naruto's neck.

"I'll catch you later, kay'?" That familiar voice said it in a way, that he was perfectly harmless. He got off Naruto and walked away. Naruto quickly got his flashlight, and showed it the direction the mysterious guy went. But no one was there.

Naruto could only sigh with relief, knowing he's still alive. And went to the office to report what happened.

Those lips.. and that voice...

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HAHAHAH I just noticed this fic has a stupid title. xD! Double oh seven... AHAHAHAHAH


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